Letting go
About Sofia
On the flight to Vienna, Austria from Sofia, Bulgaria, and this morning, I had the extreme urge to write again and it turns out that traveling as extensively as this job needs, does make the moments to catch this incessant feeling and shake off my thoughts few and far between. It is funny how a certain routine has established itself after now 2 months of being on the job. For instance, flights equal a second to sleep, writing this or any other odd job I feel like doing that does not require internet, because who pays for inflight internet, come on.
He says so confidently right before buying an inflight meal, because who knows when the next chance will be to get some sustenance inside of me. Who knew that dried apple dipped in dark chocolate is exactly what I needed a few hundred meters above the ground, while being flung forwards by a few thousand (energy for flights)?
I am trying to ween myself off of soft drinks and silly sugary stuff, so I am trying to stick to juices and water. But every so often, the urge just overtakes me and I need some Lemonade. I appreciate a good cold Lemonade over any form of alcohol, any day. Just a sip will give me punishing headaches, cause of the missing sleep and or the pressure of making like a bird with ludicrously big lung capacity.
So, what I actually really want to get off my chest is the fact that sleep is extremely important, for me personally one of the pillars of health (besides food and exercise), and should never be dismissed for anything. And it is highly hypocritical of me to write this, as anyone who knows me can attest, sleep is not my strong suit. When it happens, it is great and all, but somehow I manage to always prioritize everything, but my health.
Last night is a great example. So after the day was done, after the Boss premiere of THE TEMPEST at the Sofia National Theater, with a cute get-together, some sappy drinks, and waaaayyyy too much smoke. I had brought the Boss to bed, got food ready and all, we said our goodnights, then the real work may begin.
I still had a letter to write, some to send out, multiple reviews of TURANDOT to translate, and a few half-written emails to finish up. (God help me, if the Boss ever reads this, which he will eventually)
And instead of Bum on Chair the moment I was free, I meandered about, and got some grub at Wok to Walk, one portion wasn’t enough, cut me some slack, the day was long. One on the bench in a busy late Sofia street and one in the Hotel room, with Youtube running. And this is my point, I consciously choose to sit back, relax, quite literally put my feet up and munch away while watching Vanity Fair and some other channel’s videos point a camera at some admirably wonderful actors and artists of our time and make them pull strips of paper of a board and dream of one-day sitting infant of the camera, instead of doing the work. But I am good at my job, so after 3 hours of lounging, I finally went ahead and got cracking.
And went to sleep at some ludicrous hour.
But here’s the curious thing, I know that sleep = good, little sleep = bad, and yet I feel energized and focused, more aware than I would have if I had gone to sleep at a regular time.
It is peculiar, how the opposite of what I know to be better and true somehow is alright, if not better. Because a normal amount of sleep would have me kind of groggy and I would have more work. Why did little sleep make me feel so focused and sensitive, the wind was different, I could smell better, my peripheral was wider, and I felt like I had heightened senses, but I slept so little.
But I promise, this is an odd one out. Sleep is always better.
And I want to add that the lounge feeling, the comfort of Youtube, and Fast Food are like a lifeline and I would like to be able to let go. That is what I want to do this job for. Crazy travels and nonsensical requests, all from one of the greatest contemporaries of theatre today, I am realizing that Routine, Repetition, and Structure are what got the Boss to where he is now. Now the question is, do I want that too and can I even do it?
Catch you on the next one.
Love,
Liam
PS: I was listening to Glass Animals and Crowded House and now I think there are pineapples hidden in various songs.
